Acupressure for Lovers
Beyond the Mighty Orgasm
An Oriental Look at Sex
For thousands of years, the Chinese have practiced erotic techniques that enhance sexuality and overall well-being. The legendary Yellow Emperor, who lived more than four thousand years ago, was personally interested in ways to use sex to maintain radiant health. His wisest health ministers created the famous teachings known as The Yellow Emperor’s Classic of Internal Medicine. His advisers on sexual activities compiled the ancient Taoist manuals known as The Classic of the Plain Girl and The Counsels of a Simple Girl.
The Classic of the Plain Girl inspired a great deal of sexual experimentation and led to various Taoist and Hindu practices known as Tantra. Tantra means weaving — the weaving of two people who transform sex into a lovemaking sacrament. Tantric erotic practices enhance sexual intimacy through sexual positions, scents, images, massage techniques, stories, visualizations, and other ways. Tantric practices treat sexuality as an art form, an aesthetic intimacy, and a vitality that celebrates love. Eastern sexuality is playful, intimate, and sacred, inviting couples to touch, smell, and move together. The ancient Tantric art of lovemaking encourages playful sounds and interactions, creating not only intimacy but harmony with the spirit of the heart.
The traditional Eastern and Western views of sexuality are quite different. After intercourse, for instance, a Taoist Chinese man may express gratitude for having “received the nectar of the woman’s enchanted garden.” While Western sexuality focuses on the attainment of orgasm as a goal, traditional Chinese sexology is concerned with the quality of the process of unfolding and opening up. It views orgasm not as an end in itself but as a sacred interplay of opposites: man and woman, hard and soft, giving and receiving.
In the West, sex is often looked at as a game with set roles and positions. Men and women frequently use strategies, intrigue, and seduction to obtain sex. With such a mind-set, the act of making love often creates conflicts between the emotions and the body. “Sex as a goal-oriented performance is the usual substitute when sex with emotional commitment either fails to develop or is deliberately avoided,” noted William Masters and Virginia Johnson in The Pleasure Bond. Preconceived expectations — all the props, all the things you should have, should say, should do — create barriers and frustrations.
Most Western-influenced cultures do not accept sexuality as a healthy and self-expressive part of life. Western sexuality often involves unconscious scripts, the abuse of substances, like alcohol, that numb the body and mind, and misguided beliefs that sex is sinful or dirty. Boys learn negative, egocentric attitudes about sex and develop mental strategies of performance, conquest, and control. Girls learn to distrust their sexuality, are taught that sex is immoral or uncontrollable, or view sex as a way to control their mate.
In their search into the art of lovemaking, the ancient Chinese Taoists went beyond foods and herbs, even beyond erotic techniques … by consciously maneuvering the human body’s chi, or life-energy. They did this to enhance sexual arousal, control orgasm, and intensify ecstasy for both men and women.
—Valentin Chu, The Yin-Yang Butterfly
Western men are often preoccupied with their external affairs and thus are not in touch with their feelings or bodies. Sexual and emotional intimacy are unfamiliar to them. Since men tend to be sexually linear and goal-oriented, traditional Chinese sexology focuses especially on giving men advice and guidance. A man’s sexual vulnerability is partly due to having genitals that are outside his body, not contained within. He cannot hide his erection, nor can he fake it.
According to ancient Taoist sexology, one of the fundamental sexual differences between men and women is how they reach orgasm. A man’s sexual fluids are released out of his body, whereas a woman’s fluids are recirculated within her reproductive system. After an orgasm, a man may feel drained and exhausted, ready to fall asleep. Women, on the other hand, are often rejuvenated and revitalized after an orgasm. A woman can masturbate frequently without damaging her body. From the Eastern point of view, when a man ejaculates excessively, he drains his energy and eventually ages and weakens his body, particularly his immune system.
Fortunately, acupressure points and dietary adjustments can strengthen a man’s reproductive and immune systems. By conserving semen and consciously ejaculating less, a man trades a few seconds of intense pleasure for many comprehensive benefits. Preserving semen actually strengthens a man’s body, enabling him to live a healthier, longer life and develop greater vitality, alertness, and mental clarity.
The more a man gives his partner acupressure and has intercourse without ejaculating, the more attentive, intimate, and loving he becomes. Both acupressure and intercourse are tremendously powerful ways of giving pleasure and healing energy. If a man can deeply fulfill his partner without dispersing his own reserves (containing sperm and testosterone), his hormones will continue to drive him affectionately to his mate.
According to ancient Chinese sexology, a man and a woman must spend time playing together, being sensual and loving, before engaging in intercourse. Loveplay or foreplay is fundamental to intimacy, enabling couples to greet, touch, exchange vital energy, and thereby attune themselves to each other.
The Classic of the Plain Girl compares male and female sexual energies to fire and water, two polar elements in nature. A woman’s erotic energy is like water, it says. Just as it takes time for water to be heated, it takes time for a woman to become fully aroused. Once water is heated, however, it retains its warmth. A woman’s sexual pleasure is like a vast deep ocean, and she savors it much longer than a man does his. A man’s pleasure burns hot and fast. Left to his own designs, he tends to climax much faster than his partner. After ejaculating, his sexual energy cools quickly, often leaving him depleted and drained.
Chinese erotic lovemaking goes beyond genital stimulation to provide powerful expressions of affection. It can awaken transformative spiritual experiences while serving as an excellent physical workout and full-body massage. The ancient art of lovemaking uses inner awareness, deep breathing, meditation, massage, and body positions to stimulate certain acupressure points for obtaining radiant physical health and spiritual union with one’s partner.
Lovers who learn to provide complete and mutual sexual ecstasy may also gain intimations of divine experience.
—Daniel P. Reid, The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity